Mortgage Tart; What Does H.S.B.C. Stand for?

all been suitably serious about today’s sub prime blow up, so we are entitled to break from the mortgage debacle to share these
fascinating tidbits. The humor came our way today from members of the 4th Estate.

The first is from a person who intelligently decided to stay anon. It is via Craig’s List; file it under "Desperate Home Financers" :

Mort_tart LMAO, I don’t normally surf the ‘girls for guys’ section, but I
ran across the best and funniest CL post EVER… —– Its from a gal
(definitely a HOTTIE) who does mortgages and plays with her clients! I thought
to myself since I am a broker Id throw my own post up just to see what happens!
—– Now, understand Im not gonna sit here and say I’ll f*$k anyone etc
etc…but I have posted my pic below (yes, its really me) —– Definitely get
back to me if you need help with a refinance- if you need to lower your mortgage
payments, cash out some equity, or consolidate some higher interest debt, leave
me a name and contact number and we’ll take it from there. Well, that’s about
it, don’t know how this will go over ‘out there’ but I guess we’ll see. —–
Sincerely, Kryss Ivey

Since its from Craig’s List, I have no idea as to how true it may be. But it lends itself to some very bad puns: Mortgage Broker/"Escort" will take of ALL of your needs; If you thought the appraisal was a bitch, wait until you see the inspection.

Feel free to add to the calvacade of amusement in comments.


UPDATE: February 8, 2007 3:17pm

Turns out to be a goof. JDH advises us that "the name on the mortgage tart post is signed is "Kryss Ivey" google
that name and you’ll see similar posts to lists in the bay area, austin
and philly. Many of these have been flagged as spam by the craigslist

Too bad . . .  I was in the mood for a h#@@*r HELOC.


Our 2nd tidbit is via Slate’s Dan Gross. He proposes a contest:

The website
of the giant bank HSBC tells us that its name is an acronym for The Hongkong
and Shanghai Banking Corporation. Given the company’s recent
in the U.S. housing subprime market, perhaps alternative
readings are more suitable:

A few suggestions:

Holy S***! Bad Credit!

Holding Sad Building Collateral

Wordsmiths and pundits are advised to use the comment section to suggest alternative meanings for the acronym HSBC.


Are we having any fun yet?


What's been said:

Discussions found on the web:
  1. Barry Ritholtz commented on Feb 8

    So the Home Builders are throwing in BMWs, and the Mortgage Brokers are throwing in Hummers

  2. Roger Nusbaum commented on Feb 8

    i have to close the window with her picture b4 my wife gets back. crikey she’s smokin’

  3. Whammer commented on Feb 8

    Hope Somebody’s a Bigger Chump

  4. Bob A commented on Feb 8

    It is lovely’s like these who talked countless gullibles into not reading the disclosures as they signed you up for the World Savings one month adjustable with the 3% origination fee that went into her pocket and onto your loan balance. Happened thousands of times and it continues to happen today. Lot cheaper to hire a hooker.

  5. Fred commented on Feb 8

    You get the breast deal around there.

  6. King commented on Feb 8

    She should apply to CNBC for a job. Sounds like she’s good at what CNBC calls ‘source development’.

  7. SINGER commented on Feb 8

    How many points can she get from the backend?

    Holy SHIT Bought Calls HSBC

  8. costa commented on Feb 8

    Toll Brothers Inc. reported Thursday an “uptick” in sluggish housing demand in several markets

  9. J. Bridges commented on Feb 8


  10. Brian Mihalic commented on Feb 8

    That Craigslist posting is not the first of its kind. There was a very very similar posting a couple of months ago for an Arizona broker, with a different photo.

  11. S commented on Feb 8

    Homelending Shyster Busted Cold

  12. Diana commented on Feb 8

    Barry, thanks for keeping our day light…a headline I’ve been seeing regarding HSBC is that they are looking to “change management” because of these bad loans. HUH? Where the heck have they been?

  13. Leisa commented on Feb 8

    Have Sacrificed Business Credentials

  14. LAMoneyGuy commented on Feb 8

    Sorry for

  15. JDH commented on Feb 8

    The name on the mortgage tart post is signed is “Kryss Ivey” google that name and you’ll see similar posts to lists in the bay area, austin and philly. Many of these have been flagged as spam by the craigslist community.


  16. KirkH commented on Feb 8

    Hindenburg Society Banking Creatively

    Helping Suckers Buy Crap

    Henchmen Sweeten Buddies Cashpiles

  17. KirkH commented on Feb 8

    Hollow Serenades Buoy Credit

    Halitosis Sucks, Buy Colgate

    High School Bankers Consortium

    Historians Scoff, Bankers Congratulate

  18. Eclectic commented on Feb 8

    “Hardly Significant Business Consequences”

    “Hasn’t Started Befalling Confidence”

    “Holding Strong Before Criticisms”

    “Has Suckered Barry Completely”

    “Hoping Simply Beats Conclusions”

    “Have Some Better Characterizations”

  19. Robert Coté commented on Feb 8

    Holding Sh!tloads of Bad Collateral

  20. Andy commented on Feb 8

    Have Some Before Crash

  21. zell commented on Feb 8

    Help! Sinking! Bring…Cash!

  22. Eclectic commented on Feb 8

    It’s a bit early to be playin’ NIGYYSOB.

    “NIGYYSOB” [def – pron: ‘NIG-e-sob’… from Eclectiwikipedia, taken as honored phrase from Eclectic’s graduate business professor, ex Monsanto Supervisory Chemical Engineer]… the art of playing ‘Now I Got You, You Son-of-a-Bitch.’

    Game often has unsatisfactory outcome from the Nig-e-sobber and may turn out better than expected for the Nig-e-sobee.

  23. Craig commented on Feb 8

    Housing sinks, banks crater

  24. costa commented on Feb 8

    Help Send Bernanke Comments

  25. KirkH commented on Feb 8

    Highly Suspect Business Charter

    Heretofore Successful Banking Cartel

    Hussein, Saddam Banking Commemorative

    Half Sane Bullion Captors

  26. Michael C. commented on Feb 8

    BRCM announces $1B stock buyback. Have these companies nothing better to do with their cash?

    So we’ve got liquidity into the market and stock coming out of the market.

    Is there any kryptonite to this market?

  27. Will commented on Feb 8

    Highly Suspicious British Company

  28. VennData commented on Feb 8

    She’s perfect for the new Murdock Business Channel…

    …since he wants to supplant CNBC, which Rupert Murdock describes this way: ”…There’s an atmosphere to (CNBC) that’s negative.”

    I wonder if he watches the same CNBC feed that I get?

    Anyway, at the new FOX Fair and Balanced Biz Channel the Mortgage Massage Madam could slot in just before Kudlow.

    Her tag line could be “The greatest whore she always sold….”

  29. Sammy20 commented on Feb 8

    Housing Stabilization Became Crash

  30. Robert Coté commented on Feb 8

    At the new FOX Fair and Balanced Biz Channel the Mortgage Massage Madam could slot in just before Kudlow.

    Wouldn’t she slot in under…? [ducks]

    Seriously, there’s a reason so many find the realwhore mashup so funny. We are all desperate for disintermediation to do to Realtors® what it did to travel agents and marriage brokers. Gee, any parallels? Like dicount brokers and such?

  31. TAM Money and Finance commented on Feb 8

    What Do You Think HSBC Stands For?

    The Big Picture has fun at HSBCs (HBC) expense by asking what the four letters stand for. There are plenty of funny ones in the comments. Here are four of mine:

    Hey Sub-prime Brings Crying
    Hot Scene Becomes Cool
    Heady Schlock Becomes Crutch

  32. flincinc commented on Feb 8

    I have not laughed so hard in YEARS

  33. Philippe commented on Feb 9

    HSBC standing for
    “Holly Sacred Bank’s Cow (s)” ???

  34. teraflop commented on Feb 9

    Having Sorrow Breaking Covenants
    High Spreads Brings Crap (credit)
    Huge Salvo Blocking Commode
    Heavy Slop Behind Credit
    Huge, Slow, But Careless
    Harlot Sows Blow Credit
    Ham – Strung Backroom Clowns
    Hearing Stifled Blown Credit
    Hot Scrape Before Caymans
    Holy Smoke, Blundered Credit
    Heretofore Successful Beyond Caution

  35. Howie M commented on Feb 9

    Holding Some Bad Chips
    Have Seen Building Collapse
    Hey Stupids.. Buying Crap?

  36. brion commented on Feb 9

    have some bankruptcies china…..

  37. jon commented on Feb 9

    Homes Shall Be Confiscated!

  38. snook commented on Feb 9

    Ahhh, isn’t this pretty much the definition of a broker… I’ve had brokers like this in real estate equities, etc. This girl needs the biz like Forrest Gump’s mon needed Forrest in school.

  39. bidrec commented on Feb 9

    I cannot confirm it on Google but if memory serves HSBC’s first office in Manhattan (not counting Marine Midland which they owned) had been the Playboy Club where Gloria Steinem got her journalistic start.

  40. Jon Bevan commented on Feb 10

    Hapless Shareholders Burned Completly

    Harbinger Sees Bankruptcy Coming

  41. Winston Munn commented on Feb 10

    Honest Sal’s Babes n Credit
    Holy Sh*t, Batman. Currency!
    Hotdogs! Souvenirs! Beer! Credit!

  42. Sunlight commented on Feb 11

    I don’t have one on the HSBC initials but how about this headline: British Bankers Bonkers!

  43. GovtMule commented on Feb 11

    Holy Shit, Banks Crash

  44. jg commented on Feb 11

    Hurry! Sell before crash!
    Homeowners, sell before crash!

  45. Cassandra commented on Feb 13

    Hugely Soaked Beyond Comprehension

    How Shitty Being Caught-out!

    Holding Shit & Buggered Currently.

    Helluva Show Buying Crap

    His Stupidity Be Chastened

    (see my latest post on ZIRP for a laugh)….-C-

  46. UK Home Mortgages commented on Mar 30

    The post has been removed from Craigs list apparently. I guess home mortgages and escorting don’t mix.

    UK Home Mortgages Man
    UK Home Mortgages

  47. Aliece commented on Sep 18

    HSBC Means——(Holy Shit Batman Call)
    (ROBIN say’s) Batman Batman is that you.

    (Batman say’s) Yes Robin it is me’what do
    you need now.

    ( Robin ) I just wanted to know what the
    hell you did with the house.

    ( Batman) What are you saying.

    (Robin) I’m saying the house is gone

    (Batman) Holy Crap stay there ill come
    and get you After i pick up the
    Green Hornet and Kado

    ( Batman) Im going up there and just
    when they think it’s a bird and they
    look up .hahahaha no you asshole’s it’s
    Batman leaving you something no bird
    could do , smile here it come’s as they
    Smiled real big all of a sudden.


    (Batman) When i say Holy Crap I mean
    I mean Holy Crap Just like a good Bat

    (Robin) That’s right Batman

    (H)OLY (S)HIT (B)AT (C)RAP

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