Fuld’s Misquote Contest

At Lehman’s annual meeting held in April of this year, Richard Fuld, CEO of Lehman Brothers, was rumored to have said: "I will hurt the shorts, and that is my goal."

That quote was widely circulated — but it turns out to be wrong. You see, Fuld never actually uttered that phrase. The speech he gave was incorrectly transcribed.

What Fuld actually said was "____________."

~~~

You can fill in the blank below

What's been said:

Discussions found on the web:
  1. Jack commented on Jun 10

    I will fill my shorts before this is all over!

  2. A. Melmotte commented on Jun 10

    “I will eat my shorts; that is my goal.”

  3. Bob A commented on Jun 10

    I am getting a kickback from the shorts. Don’t tell.

  4. Nemo commented on Jun 10

    “Be vewy quiet; I’m hunting wabbits”

  5. super-anon commented on Jun 10

    “I will eat my shorts if he makes that goal.”

  6. icm63 commented on Jun 10

    I have browned my shorts!

  7. Dave commented on Jun 10

    “I will take it in the shorts – that is my goal.”

  8. doncoop commented on Jun 10

    “These shorts hurt, and I’m going to jail.”

  9. Melancholy Korean commented on Jun 10

    Ah, yes. That speech, that line. It was a kind of ditty, I recall (Fuld might have had one too many) something like…

    I heard the great Schwartz, and He told me my role:

    ‘Avoid M. Whitney of Oppy, and Einhorn the Bold.’

  10. HCF commented on Jun 10

    “I am so hurtin’ to get into Erin Callan’s shorts”

  11. Jack Stevison commented on Jun 10

    “these shorts are making me thirsty”

  12. JL commented on Jun 10

    “My goal is to be walking in my shorts on the Copacabana while the rest of you starve to death. Suckers.”

  13. chris commented on Jun 10

    Erin is a man….

  14. Mongo commented on Jun 10

    When Fuld said, “I will hurt the shorts, and that is my goal”, did he actually say —

    A.) I have a shirt and shorts — and a hat is my goal

    B.) I’ll skirt the courts, and that is my goal

    C.) I’m pert in my shorts, and fat like a foal

    D.) Eye Bill curse the ports, and cats have my Skoal [Ancient Pirate Curse].

  15. mitch commented on Jun 10

    may the shorts be with me, or against me, whatever….

  16. Bruce commented on Jun 10

    I have wet my shorts, and I love my goat.

  17. Literalist commented on Jun 10

    Well, since he’s a super smart Investment Banker, he must have said

    “I will HELP the shorts, and that is my goal”

    Another Success!

  18. Ben commented on Jun 10

    1) I’ll short Hertz & escape the gaol!

    (BTW, gaol = jail in Britain)

    2) I heard the shots from the grassy knoll!

  19. neal commented on Jun 10

    “May the Schwartz be with you”

  20. apikoros commented on Jun 10

    I know he didn’t but what he should have said was:

    “We are SO screwed!”

  21. Marcus Aurelius commented on Jun 10

    My nose hurts when I snort, so fire up a bowl.

  22. Groty commented on Jun 10

    “I’m a little teapot, short and stout. Don’t fuck with me.”

    Obviously, an honest mistake with the transcription.

  23. rob commented on Jun 10

    “I’m going to short and that is my goal.”

  24. Mike commented on Jun 10

    I’m already short, zero is my goal.

  25. jam commented on Jun 10

    I have a short Dick..(fuld) in my shorts.

  26. flubber commented on Jun 10

    I will “screw” the shorts

  27. TheGuru commented on Jun 10

    “After we report 2nd Qtr. results, the longs will feel like they have been kicked in the shorts.”

  28. Ken H. commented on Jun 10

    “I’m a short tool, and that’s my goal!”

    Can’t be sure, could have been stool. Pretty sure tool..ie…DICK.

  29. Bystander commented on Jun 10

    A few days ago, Denninger paraphrased Dick Fuld’s declaration using the colorful language we expect from the sage of Niceville. It referenced a use of the cranium, specifically, skulls that was not intended by nature.

  30. Philipat commented on Jun 10

    ” Wish I could get those stearn bear hunters out of my shorts”

  31. knapp commented on Jun 10

    I will hurt the shorts, and that is my goal. Erin, text Gasperino back. Tell that fucker we’ll pay his price

  32. Short Man commented on Jun 10

    “Yeah that’s right Steinberg, I had sex with your wife — deal with it shorty”

  33. stuart commented on Jun 10

    Gasparino would crap his shorts, on air, if I told him what I really thought our books were worth.

    Some good contenders submitted so far…

    goat?????

  34. Aiden commented on Jun 10

    What Fuld really said was:

    I have a few billion stashed in my shorts. Get the rest Erin!

    In the business we call that an inadequate hedge.

  35. VennData commented on Jun 11

    Dude, it looks to me like Erin Callan’s shorts are what screwed LEH over.

    Fuld will survive. It’s only Lehman.

  36. Cavemanus commented on Jun 11

    “They will hurt me in court when the truth is told.”

  37. brion commented on Jun 11

    “I am Elmer J. Fuld, millionaire. I own a mansion and a yacht”

  38. zeb commented on Jun 11

    I just Rorschached in my shorts!

  39. Armchair Fed commented on Jun 11

    mama take these shorts from me,
    I can’t sue them anymore..

  40. Re-REMIC commented on Jun 11

    “Is that a Dick Fuld in your shorts, you gentile?”

  41. Expat commented on Jun 11

    I will herd some goats and that is my pail.

    It was pure nonsense, but most of the analysts agree it was the most important statement he made. It was made in response to a question about what he will be doing in his yet un-named non-extradition South American country next year.

  42. KellyD3 commented on Jun 11

    “How do we skirt the courts and get on the dole?”

    (Fed bailout, avoid BK)

  43. Andrew commented on Jun 11

    A lesson’s been taught, now where’s my begging bowl?

  44. Brian commented on Jun 11

    I’m eating (your) shorts!

  45. shtove commented on Jun 11

    What Fuld actually said was “I have soiled my shorts and will soon be on the dole.”

  46. Dumpster commented on Jun 11

    I think I read the quote somewhere was: “I will skull-fuck the shorts, and that’s my goal”

  47. O’H commented on Jun 11

    You are so right! I was at that meeting, feeling a little festive, mind you – but I recall some loathsome investor piped up about alternative energy and Fuld fumed:

    “I will burn my children, that is my coal”.

    (is Fuld that bald guy with a red mustache?)

  48. Vermont Trader commented on Jun 11

    this trade is starting to feel crowded. I’m covering…..

  49. QuestionMark commented on Jun 11

    What he really said was “I will consult with Patrick Byrne; I’ve always liked the way he’s dealt with these things over at Overstock”

  50. Mark W commented on Jun 11

    Where’s Ben’s phone number, I think we need to talk.

  51. Sam Jacob commented on Jun 11

    i’m wearing shorts, she’s wearing skirts. we both are going down!!!

  52. L’Emmerdeur commented on Jun 11

    “Blue Horse Shoe loves Anacot Steel”.

  53. crack commented on Jun 11

    Fuld said nothing, he just told Gasparino to come up with something inspiring.

  54. Graphite commented on Jun 12

    “From where I’m sitting, our balance sheet takes the whole ‘hurting the shorts’ issue off the table.”

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