Financial Psalm No. 16
Preserve me, Gold
, for in you do I take refuge.
16:2 My portfolio, you have saveth, and it sayeth: “You are my Saviour.
Apart from you, I have no good thing…not even Bitcoins”
16:3 As for the Silver and Oil which is in the earth,
they are also excellent ones in whom is my delight.
16:4 Their sorrows shall be multiplied who diversifyeth into other assets.
Their offerings of bonds I will not accept,
nor hold such paper on my lists.
16:5 Gold, well-assayed, is my preference and made-eth my cup.
You made my lot secure.
16:6 Your prices are now rising [again] making pleasant our faces.
Yes, our offspring will have a good inheritance.
16:6.1 Beware the false prophet, paper gold, promising false profits.
16:6.2 Bow not before any other Gold but It, for they are but false and wicked idols
16:6.3 Trusteth in the Golden revelations of the Chronicles of Zerohedge and heedeth in thy Beck-ster and Fab-er, for they are the Righteous Ones and sayeth only the purest of truths.
16:6.4 Follow NOT the path of Paulsen and Sorii tribes who being weak in their hearts smite-eth Gold, giving succor to the heathen.
16:7 Blessed be Chris Wood, who resembleth Jesus, and who hath given me wise counsel.
My heart instructs me to stay long during the right seasons.
16:8 I have set Gold always before other assets. Because It is is heavy in my right hand, and shall not be moved from It’s Swiss vault without countersigned instructions.
16:9 Therefore my heart is glad, and my relative purchasing power rejoices.
My portfolio shall also dwelleth in safety so long as Bernanke ruleth.
For you, Gold, will not leaveth my portfolio in Zimbabwe
, or Weimar
neither will you allow my portfolio to become holey due to political corruption, or crony capitalism.
16:11 You, Gold, will show me the path of wealth preservation during times of war, inflationary woe and political uncertainty.
In your lustrous presence, I feel the warmth and joy of your security.
So that my hand can exchangeth you for pleasures forevermore.