Blue Line Jumps 11 Percent

Source: The Onion

From The Onion:

Excitement swept the financial world Monday, when a blue line jumped more than 11 percent, passing four black horizontal lines as it rose from 367.22 to 408.85.

It was the biggest single-day gain for a blue line since 1994.

“Even if you extend the blue line’s big white box back many vertical lines, you won’t find a comparably large jump,” said Milton Vogel, a senior analyst with Merrill Lynch. “That line just kept going up, up, up.”

The blue line, which had been sluggish ever since the red line started pointing down in April, began its rebound with an impressively pointy 7 percent rise Friday. By noon Monday, it had crossed the second horizontal line from the top for the first time since December.

Ecstatic investors are comparing the blue line to the left side of a very tall, steep blue mountain.

What's been said:

Discussions found on the web:
  1. rd commented on Apr 1

    They left out how the blue line was feeling about its jump and how it wanted to react to it.

  2. SumDumGuy commented on Apr 1

    “Blue Line Loves Anacott Steel…”

  3. VennData commented on Apr 1

    If the ignorant know nothings in the big building hadn’t done what they always do, this wouldn’t have happened.

    Why oh why can’t anyone understand these policies will lead to eventual drops in everything?

    I’m OUTRAGED by this. It can’t and won’t continue. And when something can’t continue, it usually does.

  4. Molesworth commented on Apr 1

    That blue line is clearly a bubble.
    I predict that blue line will revert to the mean very soon.
    I recommend shorting the blue line.

    • DeDude commented on Apr 2

      If it reverts to the mean it will become a mean blue – I recommend taking cover.

  5. romerjt commented on Apr 1

    This is pretty funny . .. . pretty, pretty, pretty funny but I’m still in a funk missing Colbert, soon John Stewart, Jeremy Clarkson . . . sigh!

  6. WickedGreen commented on Apr 1

    There go those Fibonacci nerds again …

    In related news, the 3x leveraged Inverse Blue ETF is down 33%.

Posted Under