Stock Market Report

Monty Python stock market report, from episode 28:

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  1. Robert Cote commented on Oct 20

    Author unknown:

    Helium was up
    Feathers were down
    Paper was stationary
    Fluorescent tubing dimmed in light trading
    Knives were up sharply
    Cows steered into a bull market
    Pencils lost a few points
    Hiking equipment trailed all day
    Elevators rose, while escalators continued their slow decline
    Weights were up in heavy trading
    Light switches were off as traders remained in the dark
    Mining equipment hit rock bottom
    Diapers remain unchanged
    Shipping lines stayed at an even keel
    The market for raisins dried up
    Coca Cola fizzled and closed flat
    Caterpillar stock inched up a bit
    Sun peaked at midday
    Balloon prices were inflated early on but lost their volume in heated trading
    Scott Tissue touched several new bottoms
    And, finally, batteries exploded in an attempt to recharge the market.

  2. Leisa commented on Oct 20

    BR and RC–thank you for this levity.

    And levitation? This market.

  3. Jason G. commented on Oct 20

    I always found it lovely how the market wisdom of Monty Python is just as applicable in today’s markets as it was when they first created the sketches…

    > …how does GOOGtube propose to generate revenue from such linking?

    Imagine having targeted ads show at the end of play instead of the “share” and “watch again” links…

    And imagine that Google knows you are viewing the site via the BigPicture Blog (easy) and that you have 4 emails in your GMail account referring to stocks (easy) and that you have recently purchased books X, Y, and Z via Google Checkout (easy) and you typically stay at the Mark Hopkins when you’re in San Francisco (easy, thanks to the free public wifi that Google offers), and you have recently looked at the stock prices for A, B, and C companies, and …

    Google is collecting all the information in the world — but not just for consumer searching. They’re doing the exact same thing in reverse to you and all of your browsing habits. Imagine how easy it is for you to find an obscure tidbit of information via Google… now imagine a salesperson or marketer has a Reverse Google to find YOU via some obscure tidbit of evidence that you have left behind when walking through one of Google’s properties…

  4. Caver commented on Oct 20

    I’d like to thank BR for the posting also. Hilarious.

    As for GoogTube…I’ve seen enough college guys setting each other on fire to know I’ll never go back to the site. Also, the 800 pound Goog-Rilla in the room that no one wants to talk about–all the best stuff is copyrighted–case in point—Monty Python.

    A billion dollar waste of time.

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