Internal CNBC Guest Memo Leaked!

Richard Ambrose is the author of some amusing financial humor. He is the original author of The Lloyds Prayer that was widely circulated without proper attribution last week (my apologies, Richard!)

His most recent work takes a poke at one of my favorite CNBC curmudgeons, Mark Haines:

How To Be An Agreeable Guest Of Mark Haines on CNBC:

Each trading morning, CNBC’s anchor agrarian has two
guests he asks one simple question: “So, What Do You Think Of The Market?”

If you are chosen, you¹ll only have 20 seconds to answer so practice
practice practice!; Here¹s how to make sure you get it right!

“Good Morning Mark! ­ I’m (pick ONE)

a)  Very Bullish
b)  Bullish
c)  Bullish But A little Cautious (Use ONLY if market is currently down)

on the markets here because we believe (pick TWO)

a)  interest rates are going to stay low,
b)  there is real growth in the GDP,
c)  the rally is still intact,

And (pick ONE)

a)  stocks are a great value at current levels.
b)  the market will continue to go higher from here.
c)  stocks are undervalued at these levels.

We¹re bullish on (pick up to THREE)

a)  Technology
b) Energy and Commodities
c)  Blue Chip Industrials
d) (Insert Stock Names You Already Own At Lower Prices)

Mark will make some short meaningless comment signaling your time is up, then repeat your name and firm; SMILE and remember to reply:

“Thank you for having me on.”

Amusing stuff, Richard. Thanks!

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