Financial Psalm No. 16

Financial Psalm No. 16

16:1   Preserve me, Gold, for in you do I take refuge.
16:2   My portfolio, you have saveth, and it sayeth: “You are my Saviour.
Apart from you, I have no good thing…not even Bitcoins
16:3   As for the Silver and Oil which is in the earth,
they are also excellent ones in whom is my delight.
16:4   Their sorrows shall be multiplied who diversifyeth into other assets.
Their offerings of bonds I will not accept,
nor hold such paper on my lists.
16:5    Gold, well-assayed, is my preference and made-eth my cup.
You made my lot secure.
16:6   Your prices are now rising [again] making pleasant our faces.
Yes, our offspring will have a good inheritance.

16:6.1   Beware the false prophet, paper gold, promising false profits.
16:6.2   Bow not before any other Gold but It, for they are but false and wicked idols
16:6.3   Trusteth in the Golden revelations of the Chronicles of Zerohedge and heedeth in thy Beck-ster and Fab-er, for they are the Righteous Ones and sayeth only the purest of truths.
16:6.4   Follow NOT the path of Paulsen and Sorii tribes who being weak in their hearts smite-eth Gold, giving succor to the heathen.
16:7     Blessed be Chris Wood, who resembleth Jesus, and who hath given me wise counsel.

My heart instructs me to stay long during the right seasons.
16:8     I have set Gold always before other assets. Because It is is heavy in my right hand, and shall not be moved from It’s Swiss vault without countersigned instructions.
16:9    Therefore my heart is glad, and my relative purchasing power rejoices.
My portfolio shall also dwelleth in safety so long as Bernanke ruleth.
16:10   For you, Gold, will not leaveth my portfolio in Zimbabwe, or Weimar
neither will you allow my portfolio to become holey due to political corruption, or crony capitalism.
16:11   You, Gold, will show me the path of wealth preservation during times of war, inflationary woe and political uncertainty.

In your lustrous presence, I feel the warmth and joy of your security.

So that my hand can exchangeth you for pleasures forevermore.
(with apologies to Private Eye)
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