"You know it’s the big 60GB model, loaded, flawless and gleaming and
radiating a strange liquid ethereal glow and couched in a beautiful
custom rainbow-colored biodegradable case made of clouds and eagle
feathers and wine . . ."
"Jesus, on the other hand, is a monster music fan. You just know it. After all, Jesus was an agitator. Jesus protested. Jesus battled the demons of the status quo and he defied the sad dictatorial norms of his day and as such the Holy iPod is surely home to a huge number of songs of protest and resistance and hope, rebellion and triumph and joy. Just for starters.
Of course this means lots of old Bob Dylan and a little bit of Peter, Paul & Mary and CCR’s "Fortunate Son." This means slightly stale but always eternal protest classics like Buffalo Springfield’s "For What It’s Worth" and Barry McGuire’s "Eve of Destruction" and the Youngbloods’ "Get Together" and Edwin Starr’s "War (What Is it Good For)" and even Eminem’s "Mosh," right alongside ’70s cheeseball monster hits like "Dust in the Wind" and "Freebird" and "Roundabout," despite how they’ve been pumped through the airwaves so many times it makes God cringe.
But it doesn’t stop there. Jesus has wide and varying tastes. Jesus is all over the musical map. He is into old Deep Purple. Obscure Zeppelin. (Jesus gets all the good bootlegs.) He has a thing for anthem rock and music that inspires the masses and yet he can just as easily spin around and go for the quiet and the folksy and he loves, for example, old Jim Croce. He has a lot of Nick Drake and Iron & Wine’s "Woman King" EP, Ani DiFranco and the Be Good Tanyas and yes, even old Cat Stevens. (Jesus just shrugs that silly religio-political stuff right off. It’s just who he is.)
Gospel? Hell yes. Goes without saying. Classical, too. Chopin, for one, makes Jesus’ heart ache. Bach makes him sigh. Mozart makes his ringlets bounce. He thinks Wagner is sort of a jerk, but of course, Jesus forgives him. Dvorak’s "New World Symphony" inspires the hell out of him when he’s out in the backyard studio, painting. And nothing but nothing makes Jesus weep like Gorecki’s Third. If you’ve heard it, you understand."
Now you know . . .
What’s On Jesus’ iPod? (And, yes, Jesus does P2P)
By Mark Morford, SF Gate Columnist
Wednesday, April 27, 2005