Dimon: “Unlike My Opponent, I Won’t Bring Up His Marital Affairs . . .”

Allow me to seek advantage from a competitor’s woes by declaring I would never seek to gain advantage from a competitor’s woes. In an interoffice memo. Leaked to the press:

“Today’s New York Times op-ed by a Goldman Sachs executive is generating a lot of discussion around the street. I want to be clear that I don’t want anyone here to seek advantage from a competitor’s alleged issues or hearsay – ever.”

I understand Dimon is up for the part of Keyser Söze in the remake of Usual Suspects . . .

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