We’ve
all been suitably serious about today’s sub prime blow up, so we are entitled to break from the mortgage debacle to share these fascinating tidbits. The humor came our way today from members of the 4th Estate.
The first is from a person who intelligently decided to stay anon. It is via Craig’s List; file it under "Desperate Home Financers" :
LMAO, I don’t normally surf the ‘girls for guys’ section, but I
ran across the best and funniest CL post EVER… —– Its from a gal
(definitely a HOTTIE) who does mortgages and plays with her clients! I thought
to myself since I am a broker Id throw my own post up just to see what happens!
—– Now, understand Im not gonna sit here and say I’ll f*$k anyone etc
etc…but I have posted my pic below (yes, its really me) —– Definitely get
back to me if you need help with a refinance- if you need to lower your mortgage
payments, cash out some equity, or consolidate some higher interest debt, leave
me a name and contact number and we’ll take it from there. Well, that’s about
it, don’t know how this will go over ‘out there’ but I guess we’ll see. —–
Sincerely, Kryss Ivey
Since its from Craig’s List, I have no idea as to how true it may be. But it lends itself to some very bad puns: Mortgage Broker/"Escort" will take of ALL of your needs
Feel free to add to the calvacade of amusement in comments.
>
UPDATE: February 8, 2007 3:17pm
Turns out to be a goof. JDH advises us that "the name on the mortgage tart post is signed is "Kryss Ivey" google
that name and you’ll see similar posts to lists in the bay area, austin
and philly. Many of these have been flagged as spam by the craigslist
community."
Too bad . . . I was in the mood for a h#@@*r HELOC.
~~~
Our 2nd tidbit is via Slate’s Dan Gross. He proposes a contest:
The website
of the giant bank HSBC tells us that its name is an acronym for The Hongkong
and Shanghai Banking Corporation. Given the company’s recent
woes in the U.S. housing subprime market, perhaps alternative
readings are more suitable:
A few suggestions:
Holy S***! Bad Credit!
Holding Sad Building Collateral
Wordsmiths and pundits are advised to use the comment section to suggest alternative meanings for the acronym HSBC.
~~~
Are we having any fun yet?
So the Home Builders are throwing in BMWs, and the Mortgage Brokers are throwing in Hummers
i have to close the window with her picture b4 my wife gets back. crikey she’s smokin’
Hope Somebody’s a Bigger Chump
It is lovely’s like these who talked countless gullibles into not reading the disclosures as they signed you up for the World Savings one month adjustable with the 3% origination fee that went into her pocket and onto your loan balance. Happened thousands of times and it continues to happen today. Lot cheaper to hire a hooker.
You get the breast deal around there.
She should apply to CNBC for a job. Sounds like she’s good at what CNBC calls ‘source development’.
How many points can she get from the backend?
Holy SHIT Bought Calls HSBC
Toll Brothers Inc. reported Thursday an “uptick” in sluggish housing demand in several markets
HAHA WHAT
Half-Baked
Sh-tbags
Beckon
Calamity
That Craigslist posting is not the first of its kind. There was a very very similar posting a couple of months ago for an Arizona broker, with a different photo.
Homelending Shyster Busted Cold
Barry, thanks for keeping our day light…a headline I’ve been seeing regarding HSBC is that they are looking to “change management” because of these bad loans. HUH? Where the heck have they been?
Have Sacrificed Business Credentials
How
Sorry for
Bankers’
Compensation
The name on the mortgage tart post is signed is “Kryss Ivey” google that name and you’ll see similar posts to lists in the bay area, austin and philly. Many of these have been flagged as spam by the craigslist community.
JDH
Hindenburg Society Banking Creatively
Helping Suckers Buy Crap
Henchmen Sweeten Buddies Cashpiles
Hollow Serenades Buoy Credit
Halitosis Sucks, Buy Colgate
High School Bankers Consortium
Historians Scoff, Bankers Congratulate
“Hardly Significant Business Consequences”
“Hasn’t Started Befalling Confidence”
“Holding Strong Before Criticisms”
“Has Suckered Barry Completely”
“Hoping Simply Beats Conclusions”
“Have Some Better Characterizations”
Holding Sh!tloads of Bad Collateral
Haven’t Seen Ben’s Copters
Have Some Before Crash
Help! Sinking! Bring…Cash!
It’s a bit early to be playin’ NIGYYSOB.
“NIGYYSOB” [def – pron: ‘NIG-e-sob’… from Eclectiwikipedia, taken as honored phrase from Eclectic’s graduate business professor, ex Monsanto Supervisory Chemical Engineer]… the art of playing ‘Now I Got You, You Son-of-a-Bitch.’
Game often has unsatisfactory outcome from the Nig-e-sobber and may turn out better than expected for the Nig-e-sobee.
Housing sinks, banks crater
Help Send Bernanke Comments
Highly Suspect Business Charter
Heretofore Successful Banking Cartel
Hussein, Saddam Banking Commemorative
Half Sane Bullion Captors
BRCM announces $1B stock buyback. Have these companies nothing better to do with their cash?
So we’ve got liquidity into the market and stock coming out of the market.
Is there any kryptonite to this market?
Highly Suspicious British Company
She’s perfect for the new Murdock Business Channel…
http://blogs.marketwatch.com/barnako/
…since he wants to supplant CNBC, which Rupert Murdock describes this way: ”…There’s an atmosphere to (CNBC) that’s negative.”
I wonder if he watches the same CNBC feed that I get?
Anyway, at the new FOX Fair and Balanced Biz Channel the Mortgage Massage Madam could slot in just before Kudlow.
Her tag line could be “The greatest whore she always sold….”
Housing Stabilization Became Crash
At the new FOX Fair and Balanced Biz Channel the Mortgage Massage Madam could slot in just before Kudlow.
Wouldn’t she slot in under…? [ducks]
Seriously, there’s a reason so many find the realwhore mashup so funny. We are all desperate for disintermediation to do to Realtors® what it did to travel agents and marriage brokers. Gee, any parallels? Like dicount brokers and such?
What Do You Think HSBC Stands For?
The Big Picture has fun at HSBCs (HBC) expense by asking what the four letters stand for. There are plenty of funny ones in the comments. Here are four of mine:
Hey Sub-prime Brings Crying
Hot Scene Becomes Cool
Heady Schlock Becomes Crutch
He…
I have not laughed so hard in YEARS
HSBC standing for
“Holly Sacred Bank’s Cow (s)” ???
Having Sorrow Breaking Covenants
High Spreads Brings Crap (credit)
Huge Salvo Blocking Commode
Heavy Slop Behind Credit
Huge, Slow, But Careless
Harlot Sows Blow Credit
Ham – Strung Backroom Clowns
Hearing Stifled Blown Credit
Hot Scrape Before Caymans
Holy Smoke, Blundered Credit
Heretofore Successful Beyond Caution
Holding Some Bad Chips
Have Seen Building Collapse
Hey Stupids.. Buying Crap?
have some bankruptcies china…..
“Haven’t Seen Better Contraindicator:”
http://finance.yahoo.com/q/bc?s=%5ETNX&t=5d
Homes Shall Be Confiscated!
Ahhh, isn’t this pretty much the definition of a broker… I’ve had brokers like this in real estate equities, etc. This girl needs the biz like Forrest Gump’s mon needed Forrest in school.
I cannot confirm it on Google but if memory serves HSBC’s first office in Manhattan (not counting Marine Midland which they owned) had been the Playboy Club where Gloria Steinem got her journalistic start.
Hapless Shareholders Burned Completly
Harbinger Sees Bankruptcy Coming
HSBC: Help Sustain Bond Cons
Honest Sal’s Babes n Credit
Holy Sh*t, Batman. Currency!
Hotdogs! Souvenirs! Beer! Credit!
I don’t have one on the HSBC initials but how about this headline: British Bankers Bonkers!
Holy Shit, Banks Crash
Hurry! Sell before crash!
Homeowners, sell before crash!
Hugely Soaked Beyond Comprehension
How Shitty Being Caught-out!
Holding Shit & Buggered Currently.
Helluva Show Buying Crap
His Stupidity Be Chastened
(see my latest post on ZIRP for a laugh)….-C-
The post has been removed from Craigs list apparently. I guess home mortgages and escorting don’t mix.
UK Home Mortgages Man
UK Home Mortgages
Search for in all major search engines simultaneously on the site http://www.iknowall.com.
Simultaneous search on Google, Yahoo and MSN Live Search.
Try http://www.iknowall.com
Search for in all major search engines simultaneously on the site http://www.iknowall.com.
Simultaneous search on Google, Yahoo and MSN Live Search.
Try http://www.iknowall.com
HSBC Means——(Holy Shit Batman Call)
(ROBIN say’s) Batman Batman is that you.
(Batman say’s) Yes Robin it is me’what do
you need now.
( Robin ) I just wanted to know what the
hell you did with the house.
( Batman) What are you saying.
(Robin) I’m saying the house is gone
(Batman) Holy Crap stay there ill come
and get you After i pick up the
Green Hornet and Kado
( Batman) Im going up there and just
when they think it’s a bird and they
look up .hahahaha no you asshole’s it’s
Batman leaving you something no bird
could do , smile here it come’s as they
Smiled real big all of a sudden.
SPLAT SPLAT SPLAT
HAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHA
(Batman) When i say Holy Crap I mean
I mean Holy Crap Just like a good Bat
(Robin) That’s right Batman
(H)OLY (S)HIT (B)AT (C)RAP