Rumour of Second Bail Out Rumour

Cleese_ministryofsillywalksI love these comments,
coming from a pair of clever traders in the UK:

Rumour of second bail out rumour coming in Ambac.

Word is that CNBC have heard from a source close to the fire escape that the Monolines are worried that there will be no new rumours about possible rescues around until the recent rescues are proved to have failed.

That means that there’ll be no Friday evening prop for the stock markets.

A source close to the industry said that a consortium is "being put in place to work on new rumours but we can’t be sure that these rumours will actually be ready for another five business days."

News of the rumoured rumour of salvation sent MBIA and AMBAC up .01% in pre-market trading. Hank Paulson was rumoured to be delighted with the patriotic rumours, a source close to him on his lifeboat off the coast of Hawaii said Thursday. Ben Bernake has placed pencils in his ears and is wearing his favourite underpants on his head.

-David McCreadie and Dan Davies

When it comes to dry, pithy humor, no one can beat the Brits!

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Discussions found on the web:
  1. Marcus Aurelius commented on Mar 7

    “Hank Paulson was rumoured to be delighted with the patriotic rumours, a source close to him on his lifeboat off the coast of Hawaii said Thursday. Ben Bernake has placed pencils in his ears and is wearing his favourite underpants on his head…”


    So, it’s business as usual, then?

  2. dblwyo commented on Mar 7

    Oh indeed. Presumably everyone has seen the Long Johns parody of the structured debt crisis:
    It has the great virtues of being enormously funny and technically accurate. Too bad they don’t run our education systems.

    Besides with the markets sky-rocketing on job losses who needs bond monoline salvation rumors ?

  3. zot23 commented on Mar 7

    That is too good. I think Terry Gilliam would have made a great economist had he not been so attracted to cut/paste in school.

  4. Russell commented on Mar 7

    Rumored rumors – how every meta.

  5. jojo commented on Mar 7

    not even Warren Buffet can save us now….

  6. MarkTX commented on Mar 7

    No bailout, (YET)

    but the TAF program has been increased to 100 BILLION for March.

    Hell, whats another 100 BILLION “amongst friends”…..

  7. Francois commented on Mar 7

    “but the TAF program has been increased to 100 BILLION for March.”

    The Fed’s ability to generate “money” reminds me of my teenager son playing Grand Theft Auto San Andreas. He’s got all the cheat codes on his desk; this way, he can generate weapons, cars, tanks, combat helicopters….you get the idea.

    Lots of fun but absolutely unreal. But at least, my son only maims digital characters. Even this way, the game ends up terminating him.

    Guess we should organize a collect to send a copy to Ben.

  8. VennData commented on Mar 7

    Rumor that the White House will announce plans for more cuts of top marginal tax rates (you know, for those clever folks that invest and create jobs and wealth like the CEO’s of financial firms) since those last tax cuts worked so well.

    I’m sure glad Bush took credit for the economy, now the blame game will be a whole lot easier. But, that’s just a rumor.

  9. American ZIRP commented on Mar 7

    Gawd! These hearings are brutal. Makes me want to watch FOX where at least they break in to say something stupid.

    What is with this House committee? Every guy on the committee has some young chick sittin over his shoulder–usually close to falling asleep.

  10. Brett commented on Mar 7


    I saw the same thing. What is it with tha sleepy chicks? Dollar drink night in DC yesterday or something? I agree though, gonna go see what’s on CNBS.

  11. Groty commented on Mar 7

    The Brits have it wrong.

    Bernanke has put pencils up his nose and is wearing a toga.

  12. Barry Ritholtz commented on Mar 7

    Credit for the fabulous ministry of silly walks photo goes to David Gaffen of Marketbeat

  13. Pool Shark commented on Mar 7

    I assume this comes from the Department of Redundancy Department?

  14. DonKei commented on Mar 7

    CFC is trading at about $5.00/share. BofA is buying them (supposedly) in 3rd quarter for $7.00.

    Any ideas what’s going on? Is this a CFC buying or shorting opportunity?

  15. f commented on Mar 7

    Fricking hilarious!

  16. Rumors commented on Mar 7

    There is a rumor that the tax cuts will be extended. The markets jumped up 250 points.

    A local CNBC announcer was quoted as saying:

    “since debts don’t matter, all taxes will be cut to zero. This will stimulate the economy to the point where all
    necessary income will be raised by a tax on
    returned soda bottles. This is the ultimate something for nothing economics. Tax revenues follow the soda bottle curve and max out just before the taxes go negative. Zero taxes is the place to be.”

  17. red95king commented on Mar 7

    One of the great Python skits.

    “Its not very silly, is it?”

  18. Dave L commented on Mar 7

    Well, there’s this from (posted at 3:30):

    “Bond insurer Ambac (ABK 7.25, -0.17) is trading at its best level of the session on news that its CEO bought 25,000 shares at $6.75.”

    Next Tuesday, or course, this will be revealed as short-covering, but late on a Friday afternoon it might do the trick.

  19. Winston Munn commented on Mar 7

    The Ambac bailout rumor isn’t dead…’s restin’. Remarkable rumor, the Norwegian Bailout Blue, idn’it, ay? Beautiful plumage.

  20. expat commented on Mar 8

    It’s the Perfect Bailout. Ambac serves no real purpose since its insurance is worthless and generally unnecessary. But, if it ceases to exist, the King has no clothes and trillions are wiped out. Ok, so who loses the most? A few big banks. They are already broke but would be “broker” without Ambac at AAA. Solution? Get the bankrupt banks to buy shares of the bankrupt monoline.

    The circle is complete. They cycle of life turns. All is well under heaven and on earth.

    Except until Ambac actually has to honor a claim or the banks or the banks go bust anyway.

    Meanwhile, it makes for a Great American Story. Come Back Kid. From the edge of doom to a 28% profit. Wheeee!

    Lipstick on a pig. And cheap lipstick at that!

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