The Big Freddie Mac

August 21, 2008 4:30pm by

Today’s guest post is from Rob, the founder of Business Pundit, now with Capitalist Banter:

Bigmac300x237McDonald’s Corp. held a press conference today to unveil its latest sandwich: the Big Freddie Mac. Priced at 50 cents, the Big Freddie Mac is the first fast food hamburger to be subsidized by the federal government.

“The economy – not that there’s anything wrong with it – is causing Americans to cut back on eating hamburgers,” explained McDonald’s spokesperson Donald McDonald (no relation). “Washington has decided that the burger is too big to fail, so the Treasury Department has agreed to kick in three bucks for every Big Freddie Mac sold.”

The Big Freddie Mac, while similar in appearance, is significantly different from the McDonald’s mainstay – the Big Mac. Big Freddie’s bun is inflated to look twice as large as it actually is, while the two all-beef patties are actually one all-beef patty sliced in half width-wise and pumped up by puffy lettuce. The “special” sauce is French dressing which is this week’s “special” at the dollar store next to McDonald’s headquarters. The number of sesame seeds has been reduced to one with a promise of more in two years if the burger market bubble continues. Each Big Freddie Mac comes in a special wrapper printed with suggestions on how to “flip the burger” for profit by selling it to people who are new to fast foods or kids who haven’t learned to read yet.

“The Big Freddie Mac program does not mean we will be bailing out other fast food menu items,” said Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke. “As they say in the business, it’s for a ‘limited time only’.” However, he did not rule out a similar plan to help Starbucks, which has recently been forced to close 600 stores. Rumors out of Starbucks headquarters in Seattle hint that the company is about to roll out a government-subsidized coffee called the Frappe Mae.

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Good stuff, Rob — thanks!  (I love the hedonics of this!)

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Source:
McDonald’s Unveils The Big Freddie Mac   
Capitalist Banter, July 21, 2008
http://capitalistbanter.com/2008/07/marketing/mcdonald’s-unveils-the-big-freddie-mac/

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What's been said:

Discussions found on the web:
  2. bizprof commented on Aug 21

    The Economist’s Big Mac Index has the dollar undervalued against the Euro…I’m trying to figure out what this means in “Big Freddie Mac” terms…does that make it fairly valued?

  3. Jeff M. commented on Aug 21

    That is hilarious!!

  4. Bob A commented on Aug 21

    that ‘beef’ looks like Alpo to me

  5. AJF commented on Aug 21

    “mmm . . . this IS a tasty burger!”

  6. MarkTX commented on Aug 21

    I wish these people would quit giving the government ideas!!!!!!

    What is laughable today, passes as
    SOUND POLICY in the not too distant future.

  7. Marcus Aurelius commented on Aug 21

    In keeping with the cost-cutting measures, and to make use of overflowing government stockpiles, the beef will be replaced with pork, and the ratio of cheese to meat will be doubled.

    Mmmmm. Pork n’ cheese.

  8. Florida commented on Aug 21

    Bravo on this post! Great stuff!

  9. Jason commented on Aug 21

    Pretty lame if you ask me. What a wasted read.

  10. Anonymous commented on Aug 21

    Hilarious!
    BTW – if you have an Entertainment book, there is a 2 for 1 coupon in there for a real Big Mac. Delicious!

  11. VennData commented on Aug 21

    …or take a spin in an ’09 Freddie Flintstone, our new fuel-efficient SUV! (Shoes recommended.)

  12. JustinTheSkepic commented on Aug 21

    Call it Mac Little…kin to Chicken Little.

  13. Eric commented on Aug 21

    Speaking of Freddie, Cramer just now wrote that trading in the stock has been “unfair” because some people are getting information preferentially. Note: Cramer was absolutely dead set against Reg FD and venomous towards those who pushed it through.

  14. DavidB commented on Aug 21

    The inflation rate has now been hedonically adjusted downwards by 90% thanks to the new freddie mac. Bernanke is panicking and will be cutting rates to .25%

  15. dave c. commented on Aug 21

    I just watched the movie “Cloverfield” on DVD – it appears an apt metaphor for the times. In the end, it may be that the US financial system will suffer the same fate as Manhattan in the movie, and no amount of FED firepower will stop the monster (derivatives, etc.). Hope I am wrong. dc.

  16. Michel Caldwell commented on Aug 22

    How do I mail a comment to General Delivery @ TBP? I believe Paulson asked to have a Bazooka in his pocket in order to influence the markets. As I recall in my early years “Bazooka” was a name for a bubblegum brand. Somewhere this tidbit may lend itself to humor down the road….

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