A pretty good Onion headline: Nation Finally Shitty Enough To Make Social Progress:
Although polls going into the final weeks of October showed Sen. Obama in the lead, it remained unclear whether the failing economy, dilapidated housing market, crumbling national infrastructure, health care crisis, energy crisis, and five-year-long disastrous war in Iraq had made the nation crappy enough to rise above 300 years of racial prejudice and make lasting change.
“Today the American people have made their voices heard, and they have said, ‘Things are finally as terrible as we’re willing to tolerate,” said Obama, addressing a crowd of unemployed, uninsured, and debt-ridden supporters. “To elect a black man, in this country, and at this time—these last eight years must have really broken you.”
Added Obama, “It’s a great day for our nation.”
Heh heh . . . That is, unfortunately, only a sleight exaggeration as to the landscape. Of course, for wit, prescience, and humor, nothing beats the Onion’s 2001 pre-inauguration headline:
“My fellow Americans,” Bush said, “at long last, we have reached the end of the dark period in American history that will come to be known as the Clinton Era, eight long years characterized by unprecedented economic expansion, a sharp decrease in crime, and sustained peace overseas. The time has come to put all of that behind us.”
A classic: So witty, so foresighted . . .
Nation Finally Shitty Enough To Make Social Progress
NOVEMBER 5, 2008 | ISSUE 44•45
Bush: ‘Our Long National Nightmare Of Peace And Prosperity Is Finally Over’
JANUARY 17, 2001 | ISSUE 37•01