Economic “Do Not Fly” List

The Treasury Dept today announced that they had begun compiling a list of the economically insane, and will be publishing this list on a regular basis, according to a Washington Post article.

The reason for this: Commentaries regarding mortgage refinancing and/or forgiveness — from both political and investment players — that the Treasury department said could only be described as “ridiculous.”


“Don’t get your hopes up. And that’s a good thing, since ushering in a refinancing boom would only be a short-term fix for the housing market and the economy that would have long-term consequences. A widespread refinancing of loans would mean reverting to looser lending standards, one of the things that got us into this mess. It could also boost mortgage rates for new borrowers and force U.S. taxpayers to shoulder more risk, since they technically own Fannie and Freddie . . .

“We have been reading an increasing amount of absurd commentary from people who should know better,” said fictional Treasury spokesperson Ivan Tobyrael. “Much of this has crossed the line from economically implausible to criminally insane. As much as it is a waste of time, we thought it was time to clarify facts for the reality challenged.

An unnamed Treasury official said the department was thinking of creating an economic “Do Not Fly” list. “Some of these people are dangerous to themselves and others. We want to keep them away from sharp objects.”

Treasury noted a few specific examples of what they described as “frickin’ crazy”:

-A major Wire House (and TARP recipient) suggestion we abandon loan to value standards to allow more refinancings of homes likely to default as “Uncle Sam is on the hook anyway.”

Reuters suggestion that the GSEs are about to embark on a massive loan forgiveness program.

Said another fictional spokes-avatar: “We don’t know what they are smoking over at Reuters, but it is obviously some powerful shit.”

Either that, or the heat is frying their brains . . .

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