Top 10 Changes at the NYSE Under German Rule


The recent a merger chatter between the NYSE and the Deutsche Börse got us wondering: How might life at the NYSE change under their new German management?

10. Effective immediately: No more bell ringing when Chairman David Hasselhoff has a hangover.

9. NYSE changes its tagline to “Das Equities.

8. Sylvia Wadhwa on the cover of the annual NYSE Calendar

7. All Dark Pools will be delicious Bavarian Chocolate

6. Dick Grasso’s honorary new title: der Führer

5. Merger is the last of Germany’s wartime reparations to the Jews (And they really mean it this time!)

4.  The new Art Cashin Biergarten presents ‘Stocktoberfest’!

3. Parisian counter-parties surrender rather than take the other side of trades.

2.  Color-coded lederhosen for specialists, runners and floortraders.

1.  Once a year, pretend Nasdaq is Poland and invade.


by Barry Ritholtz and Josh Brown

Any other changes we missed?

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