From the inimitable Art Cashin of UBS:
‘Tis two days yet to New Year
but despite what you’re hopin’
The folks in the Board Room
say “the full Eve we’ll stay open”So we’ll buy and we’ll sell
as the tape crawls along
And though “Bubbly’s” verboten
we may still sing a songTwo Thousand Thirteen
had some spots of high hopes
They may get fumbled away
by those Washington dopesA brief government shutdown
pushed sides further apart
Let’s all hope things improve
as the New Year we start“If you like it you can keep it”
we heard the President quip
When that didn’t work out
in the polls he did slipWe lost special people
as we seem to each year
It just makes us treasure
each one that’s still hereMandela and Thatcher
they reshaped their times
They’ll now regale the angels
backed by heavenly chimesAnd Peter O’Toole
with his steely blue eyes
Joined the great Joan Fontaine
in God’s still bluer skiesJean Stapleton’s “Edith”
has joined Archie on high
And author Tom Clancy
chose October to dieEd Koch now asks angels
his set quote, “How’m I doin”
Gone is Hugo Chavez
who brought his nation to ruinHelen Thomas asks questions
of St. Peter these days
Also Frank Lautenberg
left his senator’s waysJim Hall, jazz guitarist,
played his final great note
Richie Havens, quite different
is now in the same boatRay Harryhausen, who
created creatures unreal
Joined Jonathan Winters
every scene he would stealVan Cliburn’s piano angels
hear without faults
As Patti Page sings them
the old Tennessee WaltzAnd Frost re-met Nixon
midst the clouds they’ll debate
While Tony Soprano
while in Rome met his fateScott Carpenter and angels
now together will sup
Roger Ebert gave the harp
a quite hearty thumbs upEsther Williams swam off
Eydie Gorme took a bow
And Annette Funicello
has joined them both nowAnd Doctor Joyce Brothers
bid her clients goodbye
While “Dear Abby” Van Buren
gives advice from on highIn Boston, two brothers
put some bombs in a crowd
Although hundreds were injured
that great town stayed unbowedWild fires aplenty
burned in state after state
Elsewhere came tornadoes
seems Mother Nature’s irateThe Philippines saw a cyclone
winds of 200 miles
Caused immense devastation
to those once lovely islesA Bangladesh building
did collapse in the spring
Though a thousand folks died
few reforms did it bringIn Syria, chemicals
wiped out a whole town
In a mall in Nairobi
scores of folks were mowed downFOMO is a slogan
it’s “fear of missing out”
Now we’re all self-absorbed
that’s what that’s all aboutWall Street saw stocks soar
but Main Street stayed slow
As the Fed starts to taper
we’ll see just how things goJeff Bezos announced
a new delivery drone
Edward Snowden revealed
that we’d tapped Merkel’s phonePrince George did arrive
of pictures there was no lack
and sweet tooths were quite pleased
to see Twinkies come backPaula Deen fell from grace
for some things she once said
The Duck Dynasty guy
made some people turn redFormer Hannah Montana
shocked some fans with a twerk
In Toronto the mayor
some folks called a jerkLet not this year’s memories
of sadness or sleaze
Disturb you this day
just give your heart easeHave faith that this New Year
will bring a new sign
And believe in yourself
it will all work out fineJust lift up your spirits
and some fruit of the vine
And kiss ye a loved one
and sing Auld Lange SyneAnd late Tuesday evening
as you watch the ball fall
Wish yourself all the best
Happy New Year to All!!
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