Vista Delay

I haven’t weighed in on the Microsoft Vista delay, if only because I had so little worthwhile to add. It obviously helps competitors like Apple, Adobe, Google, Oracle, and even Sony (and anyone else who benefits from Mister Softee being "distracted"), while hurting the Wintel complex: Dell, HP, Intel, even AMD and nVidia and the of the graphic chip complex (and others).

This comment, via scrappleface, was too amusing not to pass along . . .

Microsoft Speeds Release of Windows 3ME    by Scott Ott

(2006-03-22) — Microsoft today announced it would speed the launch of its Windows 3rd Millenium Edition operating system (code named 3ME) making it available in stores “probably some time in 2007,” rather than the scheduled release date of November 2999.

The announcement comes just a day after Microsoft stock dipped when the company revealed yet another delay in the release of its Microsoft Vista operating system, which will come in six versions, 114 languages and seven savory aromas, including balsamic garbanzo.

However, for Windows 3ME, “the industry’s innovation leader has kicked the product development cycle into hyperdrive,” according to Microsoft Founder and Chief Software Architect Bill Gates, who has personally written most of the estimated 50 million lines of code for the new operating system.

“Generations yet to come will revel in the ease of use, bullet-proof security and robust pricing of Windows 3ME,” said Mr. Gates, who had reportedly downloaded his entire personality onto a 128MB thumb drive so he could be “booted up” for the planned product launch 993 years from now.

“I just couldn’t wait that long to see how much better life would be with Windows 3ME,” Mr. Gates said. “So, we’re putting it out in early-to-late 2007, or mid-2008 at the latest. But 2009 for sure. Certainly by June 2011.”

For even more amusement, check out the podcast version.

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  1. Emmanuel commented on Mar 23

    3ME? The first one was an absolute piece of crap that crapped out on us sometime ago. We had to install Windows 98 SE to get some stability, if you can believe it. Those were the days.

  2. Lord commented on Mar 23

    How much I miss satires. (sigh)

  3. Kents commented on Mar 23

    We’re a Microsoft shop at work. So, I’ve been among the first to call Microsoft by every name in the book from time to time.

    But writing software, especially an O/S is one of the most complicated tasks on earth. Hitting release dates is a dicey business at best — sorta like bringing a mechanic a shoebox of what’s left of your car, and asking how much it’ll cost to fix. A lot. That’s the closest answer you’re going to get.

    Now, if the comedians like, Mr. Gates can rush this one out the door, but as a user of Windows, I’d rather they just take their time, and get it as clean as they possibly can. If Microsoft sez they need to take extra time for security, personally I’d not only let ’em, I’d encourage ’em!!

    Loved the send-up, though. I’ve written a few myself.


  4. Lord commented on Mar 24

    3ME to give them time to develop the next version, I assume.

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