Word Problems for Future Hedge Fund Managers

This is hysterical:

WORD PROBLEMS FOR FUTURE HEDGE-
FUND MANAGERS

http://www.mcsweeneys.net/2008/5/7woodiwiss.html


Mcsweeney

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What's been said:

Discussions found on the web:
  1. Ross commented on May 7

    Great comedy. Good to have a laugh on a downer 200.

    Thanks

  2. Winston Munn commented on May 7

    We interrupt this programming for the following public service announcement:

    Quote: “May 7 (Bloomberg) — Vallejo, California, officials voted to file for bankruptcy because the San Francisco suburb isn’t able pay its bills after costs for police and firefighters soared and the housing market’s slide cut into tax revenue.

    The city council’s unanimous decision last night will make Vallejo the largest California city to file for bankruptcy and the first in the state to seek protection from creditors because it ran out of money to pay for basic services. The decision came after it failed to win salary concessions from labor unions.”

    You may now return to American Idol….

  3. Josh commented on May 7

    It brightens my day to see McSweeney’s on a finance site.

  4. tazistanjen commented on May 7

    Hey this one is cute:

    “2. If an American hedge-fund manager makes $900 million and is taxed at a rate of 15 percent, how many American factory workers making $32,500 and being taxed at a rate of 25 percent does that make a sucker of? (Show your work.)”

  5. mhm commented on May 7

    “You may now return to American Idol….”

    More like American Idle…

  6. Winston Munn commented on May 7

    Ross,

    Thank goodness we’re not in recession, eh?

    Quote tazistanjen”

    “If an American hedge-fund manager makes $900 million and is taxed at a rate of 15 percent, how many American factory workers making $32,500 and being taxed at a rate of 25 percent does that make a sucker of? (Show your work.)”

    I believe this is a typo – the question should read: how many American factory workers making $32,500 have to sacrifice their jobs to Indonesian workers making $0.87 per day in order to lower the hedge fund manager’s tax enough to stimulate the economy 0.6%? (You don’t have to show your work. We’ve seen it already.)

  7. Darkness commented on May 7

    “If an American hedge-fund manager makes $900 million and is taxed at a rate of 15 percent, how many American factory workers making $32,500 and being taxed at a rate of 25 percent does that make a sucker of? (Show your work.)”

    11,077

    That’s assuming a flat tax. With a (modest) progressive tax rate of 35% for the hedge fund manager, you can double the number of suckered factory workers.

    (We don’t need to show no stinkin’ work…)

  8. Winston Munn commented on May 7

    Speaking of Vallejo,

    Quote: Bay Area News Group
    Article Launched: 05/05/2008 04:19:16 PM PDT

    “Vallejo police arrested a Santa Rosa man who allegedly assaulted a camel Sunday….” End Quote

    Rumor has it the camel would not negotiate a lower price for rides….and the Santa Rosa man held Vallejo municipal bonds.

  9. Johnnyvee commented on May 7

    Vallejo is the first municipality to file/fall. Santa Rosa is not far behind. We are at the begining of wage declines.

  10. Simon commented on May 8

    It’s actually not funny….

  11. Alan Greenspan commented on May 8

    Here in Tennessee, our governor announced yesterday a 5% reduction in state workers yesterday, due to lower revenues (surprise…)…also due to lower lottery revenues (which are used to fund college scholarships) cut backs in funding for schools and scholarship plans are expected…

  12. DonKei commented on May 8

    Ross and Winston,

    Jefferson County, Alabama, the county in which Birmingham, Alabama’s largest city, is mostly situated, is insolvent, and has defaulted on its $3.2 billion sewer bonds.

    The latest idea is to start charging non-sewer-users a fee (tax) to generate some additional revenue for bond repayment:

    http://www.al.com/news/birminghamnews/index.ssf?/base/news/1209888955119870.xml&coll=2

    Failing that, it is not clear what the county will do to satisfy its creditors.

    How we got here is a convoluted tale of fraud, corruption, the imposition of sanctions for faulty sewers by federal courts, etc. It has all the makings of a tragedy exploring the failings of the human soul, but the essential problem is that we borrowed more, like a subprime mortgagee, than we were willing or able to repay.

    Bankruptcy, when it comes, will be the biggest municipal bankruptcy in history, so at least we’ll finally be first in something!

  13. DanB commented on May 8

    Unfortunately, Many local and state governments (like Vallejo), have fallen into the trap of committing to fixed expenses (not easily changed) based on revenue associated with volatile revenue sources (homes sales taxes, capital gains taxes, etc.). This undoubtedly leads to hard times. It’s the same trap consumers have fallen into. The correction is painful, and has only recently begun.

  14. Tammy commented on May 8

    “2. If an American hedge-fund manager makes $900 million and is taxed at a rate of 15 percent, how many American factory workers making $32,500 and being taxed at a rate of 25 percent does that make a sucker of? (Show your work.)”

    A lower tax rate for equity fund managers is justified, as John McCain would explain, because factory workers TAKE work, while equity fund managers MAKE work.

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